понедельник, 15 февраля 2010
**Hollywood Squares:
These great questions and answers are from the days when 'Hollywood
Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not sсript_ed, as they are
now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.. *
*Q. **Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?*
*A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!*
*(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of
the show!)*
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*Q*.* **Do female frogs croak?** **
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under* *water long enough.
Q. **If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you
be**
**A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q.** ** True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.**
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q.** You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a
woman? *
*A.. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake..
Q. **According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you**
**think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's
married? ** **
**A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
Q.** Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? **
**A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency...
Q.** In Hawaii, does it take more than three words to say ' I Love You ' ?**
**
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty...
Q.** What are ' Do It, ' ' I Can Help, ' and ' I Can't Get Enough ' ?**
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q.** ** As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands while talking? **
**A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll
give you a gesture you'll never forget.*
*
**Q.* * Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?**
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q.** Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get
any during the first year? **
**A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q.** In bowling, what's a perfect score?**
A.. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. **It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
One is politics, what is the other?* *
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q.** During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?**
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q.** Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? ** **
**A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q.** When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose
do?**
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q.** If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? ** **
**A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q.** According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the
habit of kissing a lot of people?** **
**A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q.** It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? **
**A.. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. **Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
what was he trying to do? ** **
**A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q.** Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?**
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. **When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? ** **
**A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q.** Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and
has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? **
**A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q.** According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in
bed?**
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh** **
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